grrrrrrrrrrreat. stuck in CA for the time being.

i am SUPPOSED to be gone already, but my dad is being a poon about the whole thing. i quit my job, which sucks because now i have no money. i DID have money, when i was ready to leave the first three times my boyfriend and i were supposed to leave.

THANKS DAD.

gah.

anyways, i MIGHT upload a few manipulations, depends on my mood.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

i am going out of my fucking mind here! i never should have moved back to CA, biggest mistake of my life. drama drama drama. i hate my job, i hate my family, i hate my shitty little travel trailer that i'm forced to live in, and i just HATE LIFE.

fuck this bullshit, it's fucking ridiculous. my pc took a shit on me, so no photoshop, which is just driving me out of my fucking mind. no money to buy a new one, no money to do much of anything, and i honestly don't know what else to do or if there is anything i CAN do.

there's an interloper of sorts in the house, some fuckin' guy that i don't really have a clue about, or wtf is going on. afraid my mother is doing shit she shouldn't be fucking doing at her goddamn age, and that my dad is just switchin' on those blinders.

i am in a seriously troubled place people, and i don't know a way out of it.

as Tom Servo once said, "Life is like a crap sandwich. The more bread you have, the less crap you gotta take!"

i need bread, bitch.

finally i submitted something, even if it IS old. i think i did this one like 6 months ago or something, but whatever. this sort of thing happens when you're scrolling through your old work and find a forgotten gem.

nothing much new on this end, though i've discovered that i indeed have gallbladder issues. vegan diet for me, woo hoo. good thing i don't mind tofu and all that.

the boyfriend isn't taking to it so well though, and i often find him with Burger King and chinese food because he doesn't want to eat veggies and shite, like me. but, oh well.

anyhoo, that's all i got. <3

well, i've made it. i'm in WA with my boyfriend. we have a cute little apartment in the historic part of town, in an old hotel building they converted. there is a small elevator that scares me.

i am restless.

i've been here a month, and it's been good, it has its rough moments, but nothing that is catastrophic. and still, i find myself completely... blank, even in spite of being ridiculously happy.

there's no creative fire inside me, none of the spark that used to drive me in my art, and my writing. i won't lie, i've been in a huge slump these past 2 years, and only got out of it for a couple months before i backslid again.

i honestly don't know what it is that makes me fall to pieces like that, but it happens to me every time that i find my niche.

i am stuck.

woohoo!

awesome, thanks for the interest in my work everybody <3